Hi all! I have been MIA for a while but I AM BACK! So much has happened...covid-19, getting married, having a baby - all in the last 3 years. I have learned so many things about myself and am looking forward to sharing more advice for you on certain topics. I just had a baby in January and as many of you know I lost my mom in 2012. Becoming a parent without her physically here has been very difficult. I hope that this piece helps someone out there going through the same.
Becoming a first-time parent is a significant life event, but it can be even more challenging when you are faced with the loss of a parent. The emotions you experience during this time can be overwhelming, but it is important to know that you can still have a beautiful experience as a new parent.
Here are some tips to help you navigate becoming a first-time parent when your parent has passed away:
- Allow Yourself to Grieve
It is normal to experience a range of emotions when you are becoming a new parent, and even more so when you are grieving the loss of a parent. Allow yourself to grieve, cry, and express your emotions. Acknowledge your feelings, and give yourself time to process them.
2. Find a Support System
Becoming a new parent is challenging, and it can be even more challenging when you are grieving the loss of a parent. Find a support system that can help you through this time. This could be your partner, family, friends, or even a therapist. Talk to them about your feelings and ask for their support.
3. Honor Your Parent
While your parent may not be physically present to experience this new chapter in your life, you can still honor their memory. Consider incorporating your parent's name or a memory of them into your baby's name or nursery. You can also create a memory box or scrapbook to remember your parent and share their story with your child in the future.
4. Focus on Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is essential during this time. Get plenty of rest, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. It is also important to take breaks and do things that make you happy, whether it is reading a book, taking a bath, or watching a movie. This has been very hard for me to do honestly. Recently, though, I am learning to forgo the dishes and the laundry and take that precious time to lay down, do some yoga, or watch relaxing tv.
5. Seek Professional Help
If you are struggling to cope with your grief, seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your feelings and provide you with tools to help you cope.
In conclusion, becoming a first-time parent is a beautiful and life-changing experience, but it can be challenging when you are grieving the loss of a parent. Allow yourself to grieve, find a support system, honor your parent, focus on self-care, and seek professional help if needed. Remember that while your parent may not physically be with you, their memory and legacy can live on through your new journey as a parent.
Happy Parenthood! This truly is an adventure. Enjoy every moment :)