Everyone has their own way of getting through adversity. Various hardships come up during different phases of our lives. It can be a death, a breakup, getting fired, or not getting what you want. What all of these obstacles have in common is that they bring about change.
Change is something that most human beings are terrified of. It breaks your routine, it increases your fear of the unknown, and it tears down all of your expectations leading you into a pool of disappointment. But, most importantly, change challenges you. It forces you to face your strengths and weaknesses. It makes you focus on what you need to do to get through the adversity with pure strength.
Change allows you to grow. You can grow into any direction you want. You can take these adversities and turn them into something positive (i.e.: like getting through bereavement, finding the light after a breakup) or you can make it negative (i.e.: gaining 10lbs from eating your emotions, losing your friends because you isolate yourself). Which one do you choose?
A lot of the times throughout my life before a really big life-changing event occurs (and I mean my-whole-world-is-completely-flipped-change) I get an eerie feeling. This eeriness is like a “calm before the storm” feeling where things are a little too quiet and too stable (in an abnormal way). Before my mother passed away I was having strange nightmares and weird feelings that didn’t feel like my own. Before me and my ex broke up I had strange feelings of things moving forward because I knew they shouldn’t.
I find myself thinking, “Right now things are too stagnant to remain and this is not the way my life is supposed to be.” When I get this thought … it gets terrifying. It brings up a lot of anxiety and fear. In a strange way it also brings about some relief. Relief that the hamster wheel I am on now will shift. It is a strange, comforting feeling because deep down I know it is supposed to be this way.
I do know for certain that the adversities I have experienced have made me who I am today and stronger than ever. I have faced many challenges in my life such as moving to a new state, trying to make new friends, losing friends, breakups, makeups, and more breakups, building myself back up, cutting out toxic people, losing my mom, standing up for myself, living outside my cultural expectations, etc. With the challenges and difficulties I have been through I have learned to embrace change and free myself from my fear of the unknown.
It may feel that sometimes it is impossible to get through your hardship and that is ok. You should remember, though, that you are the only person in control of the way you react to what life throws at you. I encourage you that next time some change starts to occur to embrace it. Life is about change. Are you going to choose to grow?