How to Keep it Together When You Feel Like You’re Falling Apart

Each day has its struggles. On some days, things get better and on other days it goes straight down the toilet and into the dirty Santa Monica Bay. If you haven’t noticed yet – the sun will rise and the birds will still chirp during the hell you go through every day. I know that when I feel like I am falling apart and on a verge of a nervous breakdown, it becomes almost impossible for me to show people I am ok…. especially when I have to.


For example, everyone has to “keep it together” or “keep their cool” or “not look psychotic” while at work. Work is a professional atmosphere and sometimes a risk of looking vulnerable can get you fired. In moments like that, we have to learn how to drag our pitiful selves through the day without a scratch.

The process of pretending everything is ok really sucks. Depending on my mood, I either want a friend to hassle me about what is going on or I absolute want to pull a Ronnie from “Jersey Shore” and “Deny! Deny! Deny!”.

Denial is the easiest (and most explosive) form of keeping yourself together. Explosive meaning that the more you deny the more those feelings build up inside you and create a volcano ready to erupt all over your “proper” feelings.

There are ways to keep it together in situations where you must. It could be when you are at work, in class, a social event (club, wedding, funeral, birthday, bridal shower, lunch meeting, etc.).


When I am feeling like my whole world is about to collapse the first thing I do is take a deep breathe. Maybe even several deep breathes. It calms me down. I also like to think about my “happy place” which is an island in Thailand called Koh Phangan. Think about your “happy place” and what you are doing there. Seriously, just keep calm and think about your “happy place”.


Another very effective form of keeping your cool is excusing yourself wherever you are and going to the nearest bathroom stall to cry. Sometimes we all just need a big cry to get through our day. I know that when I feel my anxiety and a panic attack ready to surface I need to cry. After I cry (even though half the time I don’t even understand why I am crying) I feel so much better. So, instead of crying in front of your co-workers which can be extremely emasculating and shameful (in the society we live in) go somewhere private and let it out.


Lastly, when in doubt – just fake it ‘til you make it. Faking it is different from denial because one is completely aware of the feelings and situation. Faking the confidence or faking positivity is a way to get your mind strong and be aware of the improvements to make. In a fast paced world like this one, we don’t have a choice but to fake confidence until we have it. Think about when you upload a photo of a healthy salad or a juice on instagram (#motivate #inspire #foodie #crossfit ) chances are (unless you are extreme) that photo on your instagram reminds you that you do have the ability to be healthy (even though you might have cropped out that pepperoni and mushroom pizza next to it).

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