There may come a time in our lives where we feel like we are frauds. It could be feeling like a fraud in our job, love life, or even the relationship with our “self”. In this post we will discuss the positive side of “being” a fraud.
“Being a fraud” is the same concept as “fake it ‘til you make it” expect you are “being it until you are it.” See the difference? We often wonder, “Why did they pick me? Can’t they see I don’t know what I’m doing?!” The answer is yes, they may know you are a complete fraud, but the beauty of it is that they still believe in you. There is a reason you were chosen to do that specific task. So instead of thinking, “I am not qualified to do this job” replace it with, “They really believe I can do this. I should start believing that too.” This is where the idea of “being” it until you “are it” comes in handy. When you mentally believe in yourself then your physical body follows.
Think of it like this:
Your brain, is dumb. Yes, it does awesome things for your body (it keeps you alive!) but mentally, it is like a toddler who repeats everything you say. A simple example is when we say, “Sorry that was stupid of me” when we make a mistake or “I’m an idiot.” You may think the way you talk to yourself is completely harmless, but it’s not. Self-talk is one of the biggest forms of communication we have with ourselves that is of the utmost importance.
When we say to ourselves, “I can’t do this” or “I’m a fraud” or “ I don’t deserve a raise” then Congratulations, you have completely limited yourself! Bravo for really acting out what you called yourself earlier – an idiot.
To make changes from negative to positive self-talk adjust the little things.
- Observe the way you talk to yourself
- Become aware of the words you use
- Make small changes
- Instead of saying “I was an idiot” say, “I was just being silly”
- Practice positive self-talk
- Examples of positive self-talk:
- Notice change
- Notice the positive changes and happiness this brings to your life.
I really find TED talks to be inspiring. There are a ton of videos on this topic. Here is my favorites: